Sometimes I Just Want to Say IT!

Even if, I'm the only one listening....... YEAH! I'm doing great right now. I have used the eTools tracker for 28 days. YES!!! Feeling pretty powerful. Weight loss is good and I have not been deprived of anything. There was a really old WW saying about "Guilt being fattening." I couldn't agree more. We had the perfect Arizona weather weekend, cool nights and just right days. I took advantage and we had three meals al fresco, I enjoyed making delicious food and drinks for friends and family. Now another busy week, yummy leftovers for dinner tonight. Maybe enough time to mow the yard tonight too. It's great getting activity PointsPlus values in and get a chore done too. DH and I are attending his neice's wedding the end of April, I will be close to my 10% weight loss by then. I think I finally trust myself, more about that another time.

Why not?

Jennifer Hudson said it in a recent interview about her weight loss, "Weight Watchers is for normal people." She was saying it fit into the average person's lifestyle. You can have your cake and eat it too.

Dieting is drudgery because we choose it to be. Dieting doesn't mean waiting until I'm at goal to celebrate life even when celebrating life includes food and drink.

Something delicious is always around the corner. How I handle it is completely up to me.

WHY, WHY, WHY????

I was having a conversation with the thin lipped civilian (read the Jean Nidetch Story) and he asked, "How was it that your children grew up thin?" I said, "I fed them right and good genetics, I wasn't overweight as a child."



He said, "really, what happened?"



Here's the explanation:

Food is my drug of choice.



The truth is I don't know the whys.



Why do I eat to celebrate life but eat faster and more than every one else at the party?



Why do I eat to calm myself from stress, anger or anything else that needs calming?



Why even when I want to be thin very, very much do I eat until it physically hurts?



Why is it hard to connect to two good days on program?



I would love to be a Member again, just sitting there and soaking in everything that is going on in the WW meeting. Where the Leader wouldn't look at me like she thinks I am criticising the meeting and the receptionists don't ask me questions about how to do something or request I assist another Member in a particular way.



I know all I need to know but the value of the accountability and community in the meeting is elusive to me.



Oh, to be a brand new Member again.



And then there is the fear: Do I truly trust the "thin" me?

to be continued.........

Sometimes it's a Struggle

Scale days have been rough recently but still trudging forward.

I made cucumber lemonade today and brought it to work. I thought it was too exotic for some of my co-workers but they liked it. Think light green refreshing slightly sweet lemonade with a fairly intense cucumber flavor. I love it. I had it at a local restaurant and decided I would try creating it at home. I sweeten it with Splenda so it has a POINTS value of 0!!!

I have decided that one of the main qualities of the really good WW Leaders is the sincere excitement they have for another person's success. This separates the good from the great. Those who have it make magic happen in their meetings. Those who don't are sufficient.

But who wants to be sufficient???

It's all part of the journey....

Amazing! I made the 25 pounds down mark yesterday. After a very lack luster July, August is SWEET.

I am not sure why it takes so much to get myself into the "weight loss" place. It's not because I don't want to lose. I always want to be fit and thin (sounds like a brand name for a dog food) but getting past the first 5 or 10 pounds and into it far enough to feel the difference is such a HUGE effort.

This time I have been working at making exercise fun and easily accessible. This time I am not making certain foods or beverages off limits until I get to goal. This time it doesn't matter how long it takes. I am not in a race just a journey.

I Want it NOW

Instant gratification how wonderful and how awful. It is spoiling our world and makes our everyday lives easy. It applies to everything and all.

I want to be at goal now. My progress was very stagnant in July. Do I really believe nothing taste as good as thin (thinner) feels?

Instant gratification is part of the problem. Food can be quick as in fast food. Ordering at a drive up window is soooo anonymous. I can pretend I am ordering for a family of four, who all drink diet Coke, by the way.

The food can seem so in charge. The leftover something or other whispering from the trash can, "I landed in a clean spot."

Today is the "present" a gift of life and an opportunity to change it. Today is a great day to fill 50% of my plate with vegetables and fruits and smaller portions of protein and complex carbs.

I want it now. Don't we all?

It's all okay.

Down a pound and glad about it. Little voices inside my head say, "you know you can do this faster." Yes, I know I could do this faster but what if I do it this way and keep it off better?

Eating out didn't make me fat, cookies didn't make me fat, birthday cake didn't make me fat, not exercising didn't make me fat, pasta didn't make me fat. A combination of all these things and more on a daily basis DID make me FAT.

The intake of food is as much of a requirement for life as drinking water or breathing. But we don't very often "over" breathe, wish I could say the same thing about overeating.

There is controversy about the nation's new surgeon general's body size. Yes, she looks like she is over weight. Does that disqualify for the position of surgeon general? No. Does she have something to say about weight loss to the nation? Probably and with an insider's view. Now that is refreshing.

Time to Update

Weigh in went okay this week, took off last week's gain and one more.

Exercise is going well, I have to say I am pretty pleased with myself. I earned 26 AP's last week and have earned 6 for this week so far.

The story with exercise is the over estimation of activity and when coupled with the under estimation of food intake the scales just don't move as they could. I have been doing 35 or more minutes a day of moderate exercise. I added the Jillian Micheal Wii workout on Monday. It's good not great. It has increased my intensity which is important after three weeks of the Wii Fit, though I would still call the intensity "moderate."

The only extra activity I count for AP's beside exercise is the things I do not do daily, like mowing the lawn or painting (walls not canvas). I think the regular daily activity I do is counted into the daily POINTS target.

While the Momentum Plan is about 99.9% there, the Good Health Guidelines are are not being emphasised quite enough and a little extra emphasis on them by the WW Leader could help Members have more consistent weight losses.

Busy day, busy week, time to go....

The Tools of the Trade

Scales, love them and hate them. I love the scale when I am losing and hate the scale when I gain. Sometimes it is hard to remember the scale is just a tool of measuring. It is a tiny picture of this moment in my life.

Haven't you ever seen a photo of yourself and said, "that doesn't look like me." Well it was you at the moment the shutter opened and closed on that camera.

The scale is the same way, it is a measure of weight at that moment. Of course, I always want to see it going in the down direction but that is not what will happen every time I get on the scale. Knowing that is a level of weight loss maturity, meaning I can accept the moment at the scale and move in a positive forward motion from it even when the number is UP.

Remember upon reaching goal we need other ways of feeling good about the number the scale displays. The kudos for weight loss end and kudos for maintenance from outside sources quite down. We must find motivation for ourselves each month, week, day, hour and meal.

Tuesday is Weigh In Day

A big part of losing weight is accountability. It really is the Magic for me and because I need to be accountable I will continue to weigh in every Tuesday with my special WW Leader.

Today marked 20 pounds down since Easter. I am very pleased but not pleased enough to pretend that what I eat today doesn't count because I have already weighed in and eat the rest of the day like there is no tomorrow. So there.

Also Wii'd today. Did the body test, 2 minutes of balance exercises, 3 minutes of basic step aerobics, 5 minutes of advanced step aerobics and 30 minutes of free step aerobics. YEAH, me and Mii. Too fun.

Maybe with my step up in activity and continued good food choices, 2 more pounds of weight loss will show up by Saturday, July 4th which would meet my goal of 22 pounds off by the Fourth of July. If they don't show up that is okay too.

I'll get some riding in this weekend too. I am sure my horses are happy about the weight loss.

Next goal, 12 more pounds down by Labor Day and intensify activity level as my strength and endurance increase.

I CAN DO IT, I see it done every day by WW Members and Staff.

For the LOVE of Wii

The Wii/office/exercise room is nearly ready. Lovely golden yellow paint on the walls, brilliantly white ceiling, new light fixtures, new outlets and switches, a new area rug (waiting in the dining room) and just a little work to do on the trim to make it perfect.

We, not to be confused with Wii, set up the Wii on Sunday morning and created our Mii's. I am tall of course and the little Mii does adjust its' body size when you step on the balance board. After the mean part where it makes comments about your ability to stand balanced and asking if you trip much when you walk, the fun part begins. Hula Hoop, Step Aerobics, Slalom Skiing, Ski Jumping and Golf and it was FUN and sweaty. You have to sweat to see results. I am looking forward to a more toned me and Mii.

Okay, It's Tuesday...

Scale day, down a little and maybe more than I deserve. The portion control wasn't all that good this last week. I am going to need to be MUCH more in control to achieve the results I am hoping to achieve by July 4.

Activity level has been pretty good. I earned 17 AP last week. Not quite as good as the two week prior but still good. I saw a baby coyote on my walk on Friday morning.

Wii room painting is going great, still have the trim and closet to finish. DH hung the new fan last evening.

We played Wii this weekend at DH's parents' house. It was fun, I aced the hula hoop but the balance test is wicked. We decided we will needed a larger television then I had planned on getting to really get all Wii'd up. I was glad I hadn't already purchased one. I think DH liked the Wii more than he thought he would. When he bought it for me he thought it was a "girl thing."

I ate a good breakfast this morning. That is one discipline I am not so good about and it really makes a difference in the amount of food consumed the rest of the day. I will make a real attempt at eating breakfast this week.

Who Would Have Known

GREAT weekend!

Even after telling Members for years that all extra activity counts as Activity POINTS I have really never taken the time to count my Activity POINTS until my new exercise goal went into effect on June 1, 2009.

On Saturday, walked briskly for 40 minutes (Activity POINTS value 2), then completed the general weekly housekeeping. After that, DH and I went out for a massage and then to the paint store. I sprang the "stopping at the paint store" on him after we were in the car on our way to the massage.

I had the colors picked from their website but needed new painting supplies and some friendly painting advice from the guy at the store. We went home and prepared the room for painting. DH did the "cutting in" and I manned the roller. We had 2 coats of primer on the two formerly accent colored walls in 90 minutes (Activity POINTS value 6). Cleaned the tools, drank water and relaxed a little while.

After dinner, I mowed the lawn (Activity POINTS value 2).

10 Activity POINTS on Saturday and 6 more on Sunday earned with more painting and horseback riding. I earned 16 Activity POINTS for the extra stuff I did this weekend. This makes me so much more invested in weekend chores.

I have plans for another coat of paint for the ceiling tonight and then a couple of days to cure before the wall color goes on. Painting = Activity POINTS, who would have known?

IT"S TUESDAY!

WAHOO! Down 1.6 and earned 14 Activity POINTS last week!

I am one of those people who MUST set myself up for success. It doesn't just happen.

Last evening, the dreaded evening before weigh in, I had a plan for dinner. I had made a roast on Sunday and there were lots of leftovers including cooked pinto beans (mashed like refried but no added fat, I cook them in chicken broth, they are delicious) and fresh salsa (from tomatoes I grew myself).

I get home a little before 6 PM and DH says he has a consult, close to our home, with a new client at 6 PM. I am welcome to come along.

I knew if I stayed at home I would EAT, EAT and EAT until he returned and then EAT dinner with him. I rode along. We got back home shortly after 7 PM and we had dinner. I ate sensibly and was very satisfied. Drank a COKE ZERO, my new fav and a couple of glasses of water. It is good to know your own boundaries.

Feeling Smug

Weighed in today, good scale and I earned 2 Activity POINTS! I can feel the inches melting away. My pants are loose. I am drinking water and ate peaches and non fat sugar free yogurt for breakfast.

I am feeling a little peached out. I think I picked too many. I made peach jam all weekend and a peach cobbler for guest on Sunday. Had to throw the leftovers out when they left. HAD TO!!! Still have a few peaches left besides the ones I brought to the office. Maybe another batch or two of jam tonight will take care of the rest.

I walked this morning for exercise. The Wii Fit isn't installed in my new office/Wii/exercise room yet. My daughter is picking up the rest of her stuff this coming weekend and I would like to paint the room a pretty color of green or yellow prior to moving the office furniture/Wii/exercise stuff in. Doesn't sound like Wii Fit is coming any time real soon. I checked out the activity POINTS on riding, it's the same as walking.

Dread

I've been dreading posting all week. Had a nice long weekend, little cold but when you live in the Phoenix valley you actually welcome being a little cold. Nice change of pace.

The dread is caused by the scale gods not being kind this week. I could feel it on Monday night that it wasn't going to be good. My calves felt tight and my feet were tight and I thought to myself it must be from the altitude (nearly 9000 feet). Tuesday about the same, drank quarts of water. Everyone knows the first thing the Leader says to the Member that has gained is, "did you drink your water?"

When I checked in with my Leader and told her the scale news, I said I was going to weigh again on Wednesday. She said, "wait till Thursday." Thank you for not asking if I drank my water. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for the ten pound ribbon with the Bravo Star attached.

Thursday's scale is a little better.

June 1 is Monday. Remember I said I would start exercising by June 1. I received a Wii Fit for my birthday. I don't know if I am ready to create that little avatar that adjust its body size according to your weight when you step on the board. But I am getting ready, only a couple of more days to procrastinate.

Weigh in Day

YEAH! 17.6 pounds down since Easter. Will now lose 12 by July 4, maybe 13, then I will have 30 pounds off since Easter. Great plan.

Enormously busy week, lots of little ends to tie up and then my Mom calls and says one of my brothers surprised her by showing up on Sunday with his teenage daughter. They live in Montana and we don't see them too often. So I am doing the family dinner thing at my house tonight for everyone.

DH and I are also getting ready to go camping this weekend. DH would camp with a wool blanket and a flint but not me, I camp with all the necessities to make life nice something like a nomadic home. And I find it an opportunity to explore new recipes and foods. So fun to cook in my out door kitchen. By the time every one gets there we will be a group of 8 at least.

Lots of extra activity this weekend too, riding, hiking and exploring. I won't worry about the POINTS too much, just make moderate portion choices and hike more.

Silver Linings

Hey, it's mid May and I made my "lose ten pounds by mid May" plan. Next step, lose 12 more by July 4. I feel very empowered. Of course a couple attendances at a good Weight Watchers meeting and a really special WW Leader friend who is keeping me extra accountable helped. Like I have always said, if I could lose weight by myself, I would have already done it.

Today being my birthday, I have had several calls, texts and emails from many I love and care for. It's especially nice to be remembered by those who really don't have to remember and take their time to do so.

Usually I give myself license to eat whatever I want on my birthday. After all, it wasn't eating on my birthday that made me fat. But I have a little thing going on in my mouth that makes eating nearly impossible and enjoying what I eat completely impossible. So no steak, with a salad with tomatoes and blue cheese and croutons and cake and ice cream and chocolate and some delicious adult beverage. Oh well.

Goals

Goals can be powerful especially when shared with others. The little extra accountability goal sharing creates allows me to be more focused on the goal.

With my first goal of losing ten pounds by mid May close at hand and nearly achieved I am ready to set the next goal. I am going to lose 12 more pounds by July 4th. (That would be July 4, 2009.) I am also going to start exercising by June 1. My first step exercise goal will be 3 times per week, 30 minutes per day.

One of the Weight Watchers Leaders who I am quite friendly with is very proactive in setting goals for herself and her team. She sets out to out achieve her previous performance on a regular basis and takes great pleasure in making these goals.

I think I will take myself shopping for a goal reward next week.

Monday, Monday

Up early, to the office early, I love to be early.

Had my Mom, Grandmother and others over for brunch yesterday. We had a wonderful time celebrating belated birthdays and early Mother's Day. Each time I see my Grandmother, I wonder if this is the last time we will have time together. Not that she seems to be on death door or anything but at her age you never know. Maybe we should all live more like my Grandmother, she enjoys every day.

Doing well "on program." Of course, I wish it was coming off faster and I am pretty sure I could speed it up with stricter adherence to the plan but I am doing it with minimal suffering and just maybe that will be one of the special secrets for me this time.

I need to take two pounds off this week and two pounds off next week to meet my goal of 10 pounds off by mid May. I think I can, I think I can, I can, I can......