WHY, WHY, WHY????

I was having a conversation with the thin lipped civilian (read the Jean Nidetch Story) and he asked, "How was it that your children grew up thin?" I said, "I fed them right and good genetics, I wasn't overweight as a child."



He said, "really, what happened?"



Here's the explanation:

Food is my drug of choice.



The truth is I don't know the whys.



Why do I eat to celebrate life but eat faster and more than every one else at the party?



Why do I eat to calm myself from stress, anger or anything else that needs calming?



Why even when I want to be thin very, very much do I eat until it physically hurts?



Why is it hard to connect to two good days on program?



I would love to be a Member again, just sitting there and soaking in everything that is going on in the WW meeting. Where the Leader wouldn't look at me like she thinks I am criticising the meeting and the receptionists don't ask me questions about how to do something or request I assist another Member in a particular way.



I know all I need to know but the value of the accountability and community in the meeting is elusive to me.



Oh, to be a brand new Member again.



And then there is the fear: Do I truly trust the "thin" me?

to be continued.........

I Want it NOW

Instant gratification how wonderful and how awful. It is spoiling our world and makes our everyday lives easy. It applies to everything and all.

I want to be at goal now. My progress was very stagnant in July. Do I really believe nothing taste as good as thin (thinner) feels?

Instant gratification is part of the problem. Food can be quick as in fast food. Ordering at a drive up window is soooo anonymous. I can pretend I am ordering for a family of four, who all drink diet Coke, by the way.

The food can seem so in charge. The leftover something or other whispering from the trash can, "I landed in a clean spot."

Today is the "present" a gift of life and an opportunity to change it. Today is a great day to fill 50% of my plate with vegetables and fruits and smaller portions of protein and complex carbs.

I want it now. Don't we all?