WHY, WHY, WHY????

I was having a conversation with the thin lipped civilian (read the Jean Nidetch Story) and he asked, "How was it that your children grew up thin?" I said, "I fed them right and good genetics, I wasn't overweight as a child."



He said, "really, what happened?"



Here's the explanation:

Food is my drug of choice.



The truth is I don't know the whys.



Why do I eat to celebrate life but eat faster and more than every one else at the party?



Why do I eat to calm myself from stress, anger or anything else that needs calming?



Why even when I want to be thin very, very much do I eat until it physically hurts?



Why is it hard to connect to two good days on program?



I would love to be a Member again, just sitting there and soaking in everything that is going on in the WW meeting. Where the Leader wouldn't look at me like she thinks I am criticising the meeting and the receptionists don't ask me questions about how to do something or request I assist another Member in a particular way.



I know all I need to know but the value of the accountability and community in the meeting is elusive to me.



Oh, to be a brand new Member again.



And then there is the fear: Do I truly trust the "thin" me?

to be continued.........